Jan. 1, 2015
Sahaj Marg and Spiritual Nightmares
Anonymous SRCM had parodied a Sahaj Sandesh (Sahaj Marg Publication) to call on one and all to tell the story of their misadventures with SRCM. The idea is interesting and could be further developed. Barbara replied first, here is a compilation of three messages (comments).
SRCM said ...
Sahaj Sandesh No: 2014.56 Rejected
Nightmares of Spiritual Discovery
Dear brothers and sisters,
This is a call to all ex-abhyasis. Please
put pen to paper and record the story of the events, circumstances and inner changes that led you to leave Sahaj Marg and refuse the
Master. We are compiling a book of these stories for publication with the working title: Nightmares of Spiritual Discovery.
Please shareyourstorywithus @ this blog
Barbara's Testimonial
Hello!
I will tell you of my meeting with Chari: Becoming abhyasi in 1975, I also met Chari, the same year in Denmark.
A magnificent esoteric book was lying on the coffee table, and I wanted to
copy a page, so I went looking for the owner of the book to ask
permission; I ended up with Chari: "$5.00 dollars, please, if you want to copy anything out of this book!"
was his response ... I did not copy anything at all, feeling a violent
antipathy toward this imposing and mocking man who did not even look me
in the eye ...
It took me a few more years (Paris, 1982 I think) to take my distances
with Ram Chandra also, but this is another story; you want it too ?!
... I followed the history of Sahaj Marg from a distance as I remained friends with
some dissident abhyasis of Chari, and because my brother became a disciple
and a preceptor of Chari ... Hahaha! What a small world!
"[Barbara
felt] a violent antipathy against this imposing and mocking man who did
not even look me in the eyes ... (...) Chari [took] the reins of the
organization, a man he [Babuji] did not respected any more by the end of his
life and he knew his bad character traits, but to which he has never
faced to block his path. »
This Is My Story With Ram Chandra.
I became abhyasi in 1976 (or 1975?) in Denmark, I was just 20 years old.
Back home, I could see that the little group around our preceptor, the
only one around for hundreds of kilometers, did not evolved much ... I was not
alone in thinking that this was related to the personality of our
preceptor. When Ram Chandra came to Paris in 1982, I took 4 days off in the middle of my final doctorate exams. Arriving in Paris, taking my courage in both hands, I asked for a audience. We were 3 to be received simultaneously into the Holy of Holies.
The "Master" was half lying on a couch so there were 3-4 acolytes who sat at
his feet and a ballet of back-and-forth of others were circling around him, asking
things (often whispered), bringing the tea or simply listening avidly
to confidences. I finally verbalized my question: "Could I become a preceptor?" There surely must have been a translation, but other questions were asked by other people, and it was reported that our time was up.
When I got up, I dared to ask the translator the response to my question to which he answered "no" and I was already out, in front of the door putting on my sandals.
The "Master" had not even looked me in the eye once, he simply ignored
me, he continued to talk to his other various interlocutors about more
exciting things.
I was stunned, I was ashamed, I was completely destabilized, feeling totally rejected and obviously I did not dare tell anyone.
I would have accepted that he scold me for daring to commit the sacrilege of asking that
question, or that he tell me quietly that my path was elsewhere or that he wanted to
ponder the question, but not that ...
I spent many years trying to understand, wanting to forgive myself, trying to get
out of this impasse: how to serve the "Master" who, in his bottom line, does not
want me ...?
I finally did understand.
But for this, it was necessary that Ram Chandra leave this world, leaving Chari to take the reins of the organization, a man he (Babuji) no longer respected at
the end of his life; and he knew his bad character traits, but which he
has never faced so as to block his path. I started to draw parallels and to define for myself what it was to be a Great Man (or a Master) and what were the needed attributes; swallowing one's saliva (biting one's tongue?) and saying nothing in the face of difficulty were not part of the qualifications ...
And then I forgave myself, and in a small ceremony for myself alone, I told him, I asked him to release me from all ties that bound me to him and I forgave him.
Since then, I feel at peace with my path to the One God, the Creator of
Worlds, persuaded that He is beyond everything and that we need no "go-between" to contact, since He sleeps within each of us.
Barbara
About
Babuji "[Ram Chandra] did not even look me in the eye once, he simply
ignored me, he continued to talk to his other various interlocutors about
more exciting things. »
Hello = SRCM Sahaj Sandesh!
I'll try to be more clear about what I wanted to say, but instead of
cutting my two texts into pieces and bringing them back together, one should read
them together, this will avoid misunderstandings.
As I was a dedicated abhyasi at the feet of my "Master", I tended to
self-destruct myself for any feeling of discomfort, shame or guilt, and never questionned the " Master ", particularly following the audience in
1982. Seen from today (perspective?), it seems to me that when one asks for an audience and that
the latter is granted, then, when a question is asked, the person one faces should 1 ) at least answer the question (which no one has done, I had to ask it again
for someone to give me an answer to my question) ... and 2) look one's
interlocutor in the face, at least quickly, right ?! It is a lack of education, civility, courage and consideration towards another human facing one, not to do so.
Psychologically speaking, ignoring the person who is facing you and talking to you is
the worst course of action, it is non-communication and normally reserved
for our enemies.
As described in my first post, my personal opinion of Chari had quickly been made already in 1976;
after 1983, the day I realized it was HIM, the new "Master", I started to
ask myself questions, including this one: "How does the "Master (RC)," the only who
knows everything, "could leave degenerate his mission to this point",
knowing that his Secretary General (Chari) had also been removed from office shortly
before his death? I have come to realize that neither one nor the other deserves the title of "Master" because they are too flawed for me. One is too "weak", not daring to tell me to my face what he thought, and not daring to tell Chari to "clear off" (get out); the other too full of himself and too proud to be a leader of men.
Understood now ?!
Barbara
.
.
No comments:
Post a Comment