Monday, August 11, 2008

More Failed Arranged Marriages at SRCM (California)

Taken from Elodie's Blog: Pour Que Vive le Sahaj Marg

I translate the whole article:

The marriages of Sahaj Marg

A sad coincidence, revealing a deep malaise: I receive comments today on two marriages arranged by Chariji. The first comes from a (former?) Abhyasi married to a much older abhyasi and more committed to it (the Mission), the second form Alexis quoting the Master will soon be boasting of 2000 marriages celebrated. I take this opportunity to repeat the recent message of Cricri about this.

I would also like to share with you how recently happened to the marriage of the daughter of a friend, as she told me: Chariji asked the girl if she wanted to marry an Indian, because they are better than the Europeans and he said she would have to live in India. She replied that Chariji knew better than her what she needed. The same evening, the arranger had submitted an Indian (man) whom she married a few days later. She told her mother that Chariji had decided what was good for her, without asking her anything (no input from the bride or the parents of the bride).


The Letter from the bride in a failed arranged marriage at SRCM (California)
(White European girl married to Indian older male, dedicated to the Mission)

Anonymous said…

Good morning,

I have thought long before writing you. Already, I am not always in agreement with your comments and how to deal with Chari, the mission and abhyasis. But it is also true that you touch points and weaknesses that are difficult to hide.

Even if this does not go on with the specific authorization of the mission, today I do feel more concerned by these directives. Selfish approach, exaggerated... I certainly expect such comments from the abhyasis of the Mission and it is also why I prefer to remain anonymous.

A psychologist would say that to write to you is a way to relieve myself of my frustrations, which is not true. But I think today that I also have the right to inform those who find themselves in my same situation. Chariji married me (to a Indian man), and he continues to marry others (very) young European abhyasis (sometimes with Indian, and very rapidly ...). I read the last message of "cri cri" in which he raised the discontent / dissatisfaction of couples married by Chariji. It would be interesting if he could say more, would it not?

I just severed with a stage of my life, a long and dark period of adjustment and commitment to a Mission that seems less and less spiritual. I have been committed for so long to a routine, a way of seeing things, a milieu which are now finally closed… and which had become my world, my life…. Very young and romantic, I naively decided to make my life with a more mature man and an abhyasi. I had admiration him for his spiritual practice, and I found this way of life a chance that opened before me. Although, what I had not seen or understood was the unsuspected importance that our Master would take in his life and in our lives. For my ex-husband, Chariji was his reason for living and the development of his mission was the reason for him to show (Chari) his love. Instead of seeing a rich and strong relationship being established, it is instead the suffering and frustrations that have accumulated to explode years later with the bitter realizaton of the time wasted. Despite the time I left slip between my fingers I feel liberated today and proud to have been able to open my eyes in time. My life starts again and my future is not assured, what's more I am no longer a young girl. I could no longer continue to live a life influenced by the Mission and that prevented the development of our couple. I loved my husband, but how do I forgive his neglect of me on behalf of his spirituality, and his mission? At one point I was advised to write to Chariji, but he did not respond. My husband later met with him about our problems and he later received us, but his gaze and approach to the situation finished by distancing me permanently. …

Need of tenderness, attention, affection, normal conduct….

I wake up today from a long sleep, which certainly will leave traces in my life as a woman. The intimate relationship with my husband were reserved for breeding, my sense of guilt has always pursued me, and finally the one who regrets and suffered, c'est moi (it is I). Needless to say that my decision to leave my husband was badly perceived by the circle of abhyasis, so I wanted to not be judged mainly by those who watched my suffering. I was even advised by them to take a step back and stay with my husband and my practice to emphasize that my faith in Chariji has never faltered. But how does one ask a frustrated and depressed woman to concentrate on the prayers if it was precisely this practice that had been the reason for my husband to abandon me? I could not just continue as a frustrated woman seeking a spirituality that becomes tired with disappointment and frustration. I would like to see these young abhyasis who without any preparation, unite as husband and wife, and far too quickly, think well before committing themselves, as if their lives were already conditionned with a final choice.



Alexis said…

Back from vacation, return fromLucknow:


Further testimony continued in Lucknow 2008:

"(…) You just see that nine marriages come to be celebrated and most of them are between people from different states, different communities (…) so far, I have conducted close to 2000 Marriages (…). " Speech by Chari July 23, 2008 in Lucknow, in response to the speech by the spokesman of the UN.

On this blog can be read

"Master conducted 11 marriages on the same day as empowered by the Indian Government to conduct marriages and give marriage certificates. It’s an awesome moment believed to be witnessed. Marriages in our mission are very simple and very spiritualistic. An Indian Guy from Mumbai getting married to an Iranian girl, south Indian guy from Chennai with a north Indian girl from Kanpur so on and so forth. A real sense of unification of mind, body and soul, where no caste, no creed, no religious rituals intervene.

In the mission Master asks the guy and the girl to garland each other, then exchange rings, make each other taste a piece of sweat and at last Master asks the guy to hold girl’s hand and give the girls hand in his hand. He then congratulates the bride and groom. Simple marriages with no complexities. It was a great feeling watching all the couples getting married on the stage. 11 marriages in less then 30 minutes. Truly amazing and great. The couples are decided by master and with faith and obedience they respect Master’s decision. Some of them select each other and requests Master to get them married."

later, the author writes...

Few days back in my last talks as a wife with Mr xxxxxx, I told him that only thing which was lacking from his side was true love, if he would have loved me as I did, things would have been different, to which he replied that love is nothing and he believes in a different manner and also that he does not believe in the equality of men and women. I was wondering since then that I feel so deeply madly in love with this person who happens to be my husband, who doesn’t value me at all, how can I subside this feeling and was looking and waiting for answers from my Master. With so much of difference in opinions with this man I was all worried and tensed that, is my asking for love and valuing me wrong???? To my surprise my Master gave the answers of all my questions and discussions in his small talk. He emphasized that all relations can only work on the basis of Love. He particularly talked about married life.

Couples are thus well prepared by Chari who plays at mixing ethnicities and social origins, about 4000 abhyasis have already accepted his decisions on faith and with obedience.

Cri-cri said:

Why did Chari institutionalize marriage at SRCMtm, as did the Church in its time?

There is a political reason behind this once again ...

Marriage is an institution originally used to get men settled and to prevent them, left free to their biology, from organizing in military groups and to be independent and uncontrollably violent, rather than to ensure the fertility of the society or to protect love.

Incidentally, this can create a mini-society placed under the direct control of the Church, or the SRCMtm, Chari, in which the difficult job of the Church / Chari (= monitoring humans) is borne by the woman.

Ask therefore of those who were married by Chari if they are all happy and if they do not feel totally trapped in the event that their union turn out to be a disaster.

So, does not one say at the SRCMtm that upon marriage by the Master, does it not creates an eternal and indestructible link between 2 souls?

Good bullshit: A link is the logical opposite of a liberation. Would Chari entangle the people spiritually with his spider webs?



Anonymous said...

I have also married in Sahaj marg mission, very quickly while I was waiting to see , called me in and introduce me to someone and arrange the wedding day after giving us 10 minutes talking, I was so shocked, was crying and crying in front of his cottage for 2 weeks to let me in and convince me some how i am getting a good decision , but he denied me every time,just send some body who is married in this fashion to me to explain how happy life they have and how in the beginning was so hard for them too. So i gave up at the end and decided to go to the way that my heart strongly reject it. By this belief that he chooses the best for us!!! I have gone through so many chaoses under this marriage and yet unhappy and faking everything is fine. Some time I belief my own faking... We both have quited the mission recently. My mind always dreaming to be free from this marriage too but same time I feel I became used to his presence and he is part of my life , lived with him for years, not maybe so close as i expected but anyway I do respect for his feeling and don´t want to hurt him by leaving him, I do n´t have courage to break with him, we are living in two diffrent planet under one roof, the only thing that make getting decision to leave him more difficult is, he is really kind, nice person, and love me so much, but i feel so empty and lifeless. Is n´t that horrible to live with somebody while you have such this thought in your mind? I feel in a trap that i could hardly come out of it. I don´t want to hurt the man who loves me and think I am the best thing that ever have happened in his life. I am so desperate and helpless in this way.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous... (you can use a name of your choice so we can reply to you directly)

Thanks for your comments... I will keep a good thought for you and your husband...

Bless you both...