A Sahaj Marg (tm) Renegade (Elodie's Testimonial)

Taken and translated from an article: "Renegade", by Elodie on her French blog in Europe: Pour Que Vive Le Sahaj Marg.

November 13, 2012

Renegade

Among the values ​​which my parents transmitted to me during my education, two of them helped me  build the adult which I became: the freedom to think for myself and the superiority of the spiritual life over the material life.

 

It is in this spirit that they met Babuji and chose him as a spiritual master nearly 40 years ago.   My brother, my sister and I were bathed in this environment from a very young childhood and we have logically adhered to it once we reached an older age.   Meanwhile, Babuji was replaced by Chari without it bringing any change in our commitment.

 

We met our companions (partner?) within the Mission, my parents were appointed preceptors by Babuji, my brother and my sister-in-law by Chari, the union of my little sister was blessed by Chari, my older nephews and nieces were educated at LMOIS (Lalaji Memorial Omega International Schoold).   A real "Mission" family, as Chari  dreamed.

 

I had the feeling of belonging to a larger family and one based on the values ​​that I had been taught by my parents. Sahaj Marg represented everything I aspired to since always, a wonderful dream shared with my partner and which I was eager to pass on to my children.

 

 Some grains of sand have jammed up this wonderful drive gear.  In 2005, the announcement of Whispers by Chari and the interruption of satsangh by his son for an auction have been the electro-shock that pushed me out. I broke with the Mission, I broke up with my family and I also later broke up with my former partner.

 

First supported by my partner and finally also rejected by my last support, I found myself without family and friends, and terribly alone.  Added to this was the fact that I had to admit that I had strayed into a dead end and one totally contrary to my principles. I had been used and manipulated without my knowledge and against my will without my noticing it for many years. It is not the easiest thing to recognize. My family was always - and still is - a willing hostage of a pseudo-spiritual deception, a vast and deadly scam.

 

I suffered terribly from loneliness and from the difficulty of admitting that I had left myself  be abused for so long and so substantially. My son and daughter were my strength, but what has  truly saved me, it is our exchanges and analyses on this blog as well as the relationships I have forged with some great spiritual personalities, remarkable in my eyes.

 

Let there be no mistake, I do not write this to encourage your pity or your compassion, I do not want it.   I write this for you who doubt, for you who are wondering if your future is in this sinister mission or outside. Leaving this sidetrack is an indispensable necessity if you still believe in spiritual values ​​and if you refuse to serve any longer as a cash-cow to a crook; but the way to stop the addiction is long and difficult.

 

 Realization is a slow and complex process, although some events may precipitate it. My first questionning of the Mission appeared with insignificant doubts. When I questioned my parents or a preceptor, either I got some guilt-inducing responses questioning my practice, or I ran into a wall.  I have now forgotten my trivial questions of the time, but I will never forget the attitude of those who replied to me. I was a bad abhyasi, I was not using the Mission correctly, my love for Chari was not strong enough, etc.. etc..

 

How is it possible that one thus eludes any questions on a spiritual path? From a preceptor, I undoubtedly would have accepted it.   I had more trouble accepting when it came from people which I then took for real  friend (s).   I absolutely refused when it was my family.  It was in total contradiction with the values ​​which my parents had transmitted to me, how could they hold on to such language?

 

I doubted more and more, incredibly disappointed by the behavior of people I considered members of this large family which the Mission was then for me, until the events of 2005, which precipitated me out. Chari demanded from us 250 euros for a book not yet printed and with an unknown subject, based on trust (confidence?).  I had no more confidence left and 250 euros for a book the group-purchase of which was prohibited, as also was photocopying or lending, that is a bit expensive. The commercial aspect had become too obvious.

 

My departure and the creation of this blog are not the end of my story with Sahaj Marg, far from it. One does not abruptly go from doubt and loss of confidence to a full dis-endoctrination. There are steps, many steps. The process is not sudden and total, it is slow, difficult, sprinkled with doubts and some very personal issues, very sentimentally charged and very emotional.

 

It still took me a long time to see Chari as he truly is, and not with the eyes of a fanatic disciple, enamored of his/her spiritual master. I have long believed that the excesses of the Mission were due to individual members who composed it, precisely because of their human condition. Sahaj Marg remained the best spiritual method and Chari was its undisputed master. I still believed in the possibility of a Sahaj Marg rid of its human misdemeanours and hoped to re-render it its noble acclaim.

 

With the discoveries and the evidence that accumulated on the blog, I was very much obliged to gradually accept the omissions and lies of Babuji and Chari. I managed the desecrating of Chari by discovering the contents of Whispers it was the final straw that broke the camel's back. The divergent discourses of Sister Kasturi and Narayana (ISRC) also helped me.

 

I needed the analyses of Cricri, Michael and Alexis, and the support of 4d-Don, to understand and accept intellectually that I had succumbed to this pseudo-spiritual trap for suckers, without noticing. My encounters with spiritual personalities from all sides finally demystified Sahaj Marg. This is not a unique and universal method as claimed by Babuji, I am now convinced, and I have much evidence. There are many other spiritual paths which are at least as interesting.

 

Today, seven years after slamming shut the door on the Mission, I dare say that I have come to a new equilibrium.

 

The consequences are many. My family has almost cut its ties with me and I am infinitely sad and disappointed at their renunciation, even if I do not lose hope of seeing them one day finally open their eyes to the puppets they have become.   I lost all my false friends, but of that, I congratulate myself today. And for my self-preservation, because one never turns the page completely, I refuse to meet directly with anyone who had anything to do with Sahaj Marg, near or far, it is still too sensitive. After having been much influenced and abused, I am unable to give my full confidence to a spiritual guide, whatever his merits, it has become for me a basic survival reflex.

 

I lost my family and my truly false friends, but over time I developed some new relationships and true friendships in my surroundings, a thing that was impossible when I was in the Mission. For that matter, as long as we stay, we do not realize how much the Mission imprisons us and cuts us off from our immediate surroundings.

 

I lost a Master and a pseudo-spiritual method, but I have met many exceptional spiritual personalities. My spiritual stagnation at the heart of the Mission has ceased, I have again taken up my spiritual quest, I met wonderful guides and found my inner God.

 

Paradoxically, leaving Sahaj Marg, breaking with the Mission and its master has allowed me to reconnect with a real spiritual experience and to regain my freedom of thought. I have finally become myself.

Elodie 

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